it all started right here ^^ i was 17 years old, i kicked the shit out of my mom and stepdad's
bar for some reason i can't remember . after that my mom put me on an 8pm train to go stay w/ my dad
for a while in LA . there was this beautiful girl that kept giving me the eyes on the train, i knew i should
have said something... but i didn't . it was late so there was only one other person in all of union station .
i sat in that chair and waited for my dad's phone call while playing "marble blast" on my ibook .
she walked past me and gave me one last smile, i thought, "wow i'm a fucking pussy" for not saying anything .
2 minutes later i feel someone standing over me, i look up and it is her . she handed me a note, i took it and she walked
away w/ out saying one word . the note read,

i'll be thinking about you until breakfast,
perhaps even until lunch
*phone number*

no name, nothing else . she was so next level . i called her that nite
and she had an english accent, she was just here visiting her sisters
but lives in England . somehow along the conversation i tried to namedrop
someone like an asshole and she came back at me in a fun way saying,
"oh yeah well my dad is the lead singer of the monkees" . i was like, "uuuhhhhh"
keep in mind this is when i was just living in ventura having a completely normal
boring suburban life . this was crazy for me, we ended up spending a week together

she wrote this song about us called adventura (adventure + ventura)


this was our first picture together i was 17 and she was 18
it was taken in a photobooth inside big lots, it's so perfect


when she came this time we were more friends vibe as she had a boyfriend at the time .
this was our last nite and we were hanging out in the gardens at the ventura fair .
i remember telling her that it's just not the same and that i was bummed where we were at,
she held my hand and told me something along the lines of we have no idea what's ahead
of us, in that even 6 months or a year things can be totally different . she was right


we were skyping every other day for months prior to this trip . we wanted to give it
a full shot, i was crazy over her all over again . i now live in san diego and she was here for a month .

this was at solana beach, she was so rad and tried to skimboard w/ me and totally nailed it .
we were swimming in the ocean and decided to take some of our clothes off, i swear seconds
later i feel the sharpest pain and start screaming like a total bitch . i got stung by a stingray,
worst feeling ever and also the worst timing ever !

it was all a fairy tale it seemed like . but unlike most this one did not have the happiest ending,
at the end of the day i was just not mature enough to handle her . just wasn't me yet..
everytime we were together i felt like a voice crying out in the wilderness, i just couldn't hang .
it was hurting, and i was over it all and i didn't want to talk to her ever again

about a month later she sent me this song she wrote called "normal heights" . it was a neighborhood i took her to
in san diego near where i lived . she made the music video off all images and video clips from my site


she emailed me saying she was going to be in town for a couple days .
after three years of being bitter i was finally over it, i love her . always have always will

we're older, we both have our own lives and when we look at eachother the feelings there are gone, but that's ok .
i think back to the time we met and all the experiences we had, it was all so incredible .
if she didn't hand me that note, just that small little gesture, then my life would be completely
different, and i thank god she did, because she made mine very awesome .
before her having a record deal and me modeling we were just kids being kids, and although
people always say, "i have no regrets" i always do . and if i could go back and do it all again,
i'm not sure if i would keep it all or same or do it 100% differently :)




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