when i first met you and our hands
were on the pillow i wanted to move
it just an inch so i could touch you
..... yeah me too

taylor and brandon invited me to go to an RL Grimes show
in hollywood last second . i've never heard of him but had nothing
else to do . we ended up taking our shirts off and just wildin' in the
crowd of all asian teenagers . this is how kids view concerts now ^ yeah..

the next nite tay and his crew were back at it at some place
called Bootie LA and we just danced and had fun 4 the nite :)

this was the following tuesday, yeah i'm wearing the
same outfit ok . this was an end to an ERA . bootsy bellows
is closing down . wow i mean... i remember being here it seems like
every week the last two years . if you look thru madthirsty this WAS
my club, my one and only . lately my ideas of nightlife have changed
so i'm not here as much but had to go out for the final nite . here
i am w/ the perfect crew, got the club going UP on a final tuesday <3
(also want to point out how AMAZING cuba looks in my philippines shirt)

just another emotional rant, like always... i was thinking the other
day about the people in my life, the people that when i'm down or
lonely i want to pick up the phone and hear from . i also think of some
of the people i cannot hear from . you have to choose who you want to be
around in life, who will care for you, inspire you, help you grow and love
you . the wild thing is, some people you choose do not want you . i reflect
about a woman who came into Nobu where i was working and tried to
pick me up and succeeded, she ended up taking me around and changing
my life course by making me a model and thus moving me to LA . you fast
forward 4 months and she's calling the cops trying to get me arrested for
wearing her Versace pants (great story actually :P) . i think about a man,
who kinda became my everything . he taught me about culture, about spirit .
we would sit down and talk about our lives and he gave me the will to carry
on in this shameless world . after some time, that person was gone from me .
i always go back to that EPIC quote from Adaptation, "you are what you
love, not what loves you" woah...yeah . this line has stayed w/ me over the
years . it's a reminder when people u love drag your name through the mud
or say things that are outright nasty, that's their thing . some of those people
i mentioned i would still die for and i probably look like a lunatic because of it .
...how you feel about anyone or anything, no one can take that away from you :)





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