i haven't made an entry for a month, that's the longest i've ever done w/out
an update . but it's because i don't have a ton of free time anymore, my day
to day has changed . i'm finally utilizing the sunshine, and this is a great thing .
so let's play major catch up . these photos are from early June i believe .
"SICK BAG", two words that described my life until late may . when it
all changed, when everything went down, i honestly thought i was done
partying forever . like i was going to read books all day, yeah right . without
sounding like a complete fucking asshole, i am capable of having a LOT of fun .
"never not sweating" is the motto, asking me to not go out is like telling allen iverson
to not play basketball . you just can't do that, not when he's that good . but
going out wasn't the problem, it was reaching for the bullet in my pocket
every 20 minutes . having wandering eyes, ruining my reputation, being
around people who were completely absent of integrity . and seeing that "buzzkill"
sunrise every friday and saturday . it's not glamorous and boy does it get old .
so this is i, slowly integrating back into the party world that i ran from .

i bought a new mini cooper and it's amazing i love !!

i'm all about self improvement lately . so i signed up for this 3 day
seminar called landmark ^^ i didn't go in w/ a critical mass in my life,
just wanted to see if there were any tools i could acquire to make myself
better . sadly, i left in the middle of day two . what i think about
landmark and the "tony robbins" vibe of self improvement courses is
that they are a way to get money out of people who have no power in their life .
the teacher one time told us to call someone during the lunch break and
"get complete" w/ them . everyone seemed to be super jazzed up and
when we returned from break they told their stories of how they got
complete . i remember thinking, "you needed her to tell you that ?"
i just feel like i can do anything, if i'm mad at someone, i can articulate
and communicate my emotions and solve it right there . if i'm gay, i can
come out right now to everyone (not that i would have to) . i can call a lost lover
at any time of the day i desire without someone pumping me up to do so . they were
so proud that they learned the "landmark language" so they could communicate
w/ their husbands/wives and children . i honestly cannot imagine myself not
having a perfect dialogue w/ my girl or my kids . wtf ?? again, i sound
so self absorbed but i'm lucky i moved to LA and get to be in a scene w/
cultured and interesting people . from observing them and hearing them
i learn and increase my swag . massimo, bryan, jordan, etc . i also think living
my life hard makes me crash even harder, and in turn i walk away w/ big
lessons . i'm rambling but i want to share my take on something that is
interesting to me . i wish i had the 625$ back so i can buy dries van noten tho :(
my advice to young people who are reading this is, find people older than you
that you admire and be around them often so they can speed up your growth .
take major chances w/ love & life so you can weed out the bad and retain the good <3

HBA had a show in downtown and i was LIVING for it !! they had a sand
dune and they were just walking around and pushing eachother . they would
walk through the crowd and shove us out of their way it was really hot . HBA
is one of my favorite brands due to who made it, his story, and the people
who wear it and the culture it brings . example, if you go to a celine show, you
will see (i'm assuming) mostly chic 25-40 year olds . the golf wang show (tyler the creator)
brought a bunch of kids who wear muted rainbow colors and shorts w/ high socks .
moschino, who presented a day before HBA brought the
celebrities and people who pose for photos that end up on getty images .
ok so, with that being said, look at the kids who come to HBA below !
i haven't seen a cooler bunch in one place in LA since i've lived here . it's very
eclectic, the guys and girls are so great in their unique way i LOVE it <3

after the HBA show i took a nap and then went to spotlight . this
is a party i never try to miss . it's basically the closest thing to berlin
that you can get to in LA . i see things in here that i cannot UN-see if
you know what i mean . it's humid, smells like body odor, everybody
is shirtless and covered in sweat . it's hardcore in here but i enjoy it,
the aggression is not meant for the timid . but what u gonna do ??

when minji ripped up all the post-its she must have missed this one .
i've hung it up for motivation to be a better jesse . i'm doing it tree monkey

can you lift me up ? because i want to get there
i wanna go back one last time
and if i can't do that, then at least i'll be on my way
so please, can you help me takeoff ?








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