if i swim w/ you I think my heart will burst

At night all of go to Ostuni center, one of the most beautiful plazas you have ever seen, for some aperitivo and drinks . And guess who’s here ? Sara from Milan fashion week . She is w/ her friends from Milan for the festival as well . I haven’t seen her for years, yet she appears in my thoughts from time to time . I ask her and her friends to meet me under the massive statue in the square, and then there she was..

When I saw her I couldn’t help but start laughing, the kind you do when you are overcome w/ joy and have no words . She is even more stunning than before, I don’t know how she has aged and looked better, while I have done the opposite . Her friends join us at the restaurant, and the night starts off great—or so I think . Things take a turn when Stefano, one of Sara’s friends, asks Massimo what he does for a living . Massi, in true Massi fashion, shoots back, “I’m on vacation; I’m not here to talk about work.” It’s blunt . Rude, even . But I fucking love it . And honestly, I’m stealing that line . Why does everyone always want to talk about work? It’s so dull . Gotta hand it to Massi—he’s got a point ;)

Eventually, Massi's group decides to leave, but I stick around with Sara and the remaining crew: Giuliana, her boyfriend Carlo, and Stefano . Carlo and I hit it off—he’s got this grounded, cool energy, he is a DJ after all . Stefano’s proper and polite, the kind of guy who balances out the group . I was bumping and drinking too much and Sara told me I was too loud, and she was right, I was just too excited . But the way she told me, so sweet to let me down gently, makes me like her even more Xx

Gorgeous day w/ Massi and everyone . The family joined from last night, full day at the beach w/ sun and water . That evening we went to a gorgeous masseria, places that are unique only to Puglia . Like an American ranch . I think Justin Timberlake got married at the one we were at, or at least that’s what we were told . Last night there was a wedding then as well, and David walked up and started to eat the food for the reception, it was quite possibly the funniest and the cutest thing I’ve ever seen him do .

Dinner was wonderful but nothing worth writing about . Fireworks were lovely, I think it was for the wedding .

After Massi said the 4 of us guys should go to an afterparty in the hills, it’s one where a lot of the DJ’s from the canceled festival will be at, a girlfriend of his named Eliza is a host there and invited us . Finally some action . So after about 20 minute drive we arrive . It was fucking cool . kinda looked like Tulum, everyone was in black . I think I saw DJ tennis at a table by the fireplace . I go and start socializing, I met an amazing DJ named Marco Shuttle . Super cool and smart . While we were talking, an Italian girl was just standing a foot away from him almost behind him just staring at me . Like she was standing in line, waiting for her turn to talk to me . I’ve never seen anything like that in my life, it was so odd but in a cute way . I keep talking to Marco but my eyes would occasionally dart over to her until i finally had to stop the conversation and say hello to her .

She said she wanted to introduce herself to me, I thought that was adorable and we chatted . Then the three of us chatted on a couch for a bit, maybe 25 minutes or so until Massi approached - “We are leaving, are you ready ?”

The girl squeezed my forearm and motioned for me to stay, the language barrier was at about 30% but I knew what she wanted . I looked at her and then him and said, “I’ll stay” . Massi asked if I was sure and I again said yes . He told me to get a ride home or else he would pick me up in the morning .

God would I later regret that decision …

So we would flirt and maybe kiss for another 25 minutes before things would change . I would chat with/ multiple interesting people, but the problem was that most of them only spoke Italian . There came a moment when we realized there was only one beer left, and we opened it and passed it around the table and everyone had one sip, a very wholesome and fun moment actually .

But after that it started to go downhill, as most things do when the booze runs out . People became more isolated and huddled . The main problem was the girl who I met took me on as her responsibility in my opinion, as she asked me to stay . But now she is avoiding me, and I can feel it . And it sucks . It’s 4am . No one is really talking to me or offering me a room in this big house . So I just sit on an outdoor couch and watch the sun rise . Terrible feeling - being stuck . Then I would notice one of the other girls would walk over to see if I was still there, almost checking and expecting me to leave . the way people do when someone out stays their welcome

Around 5am I just thought, “ok fuck it . You want to ignore me, you don’t want me here ? I’ll fucking leave”

I make it to a liquor store pizzeria place, and I ask for a charger . They didn’t have one for an iPhone . I text Massimo and send him my location, tell him I need to be picked up . 30 seconds after I sent it my phone died, but I was praying he would see it soon . I go back into the shop and ask for them to make me a pizza, they point to the clock and gesture that it is too early to fire the oven up, not before furling their eyebrows at me like I’m crazy . Yeah thanks for that . It is 7:30 am after all . So I buy chips and water and more cigarettes and start to chain-smoke furiously out of stress that I haven’t slept and also if anyone will come to get me . I am still fucking fuming at what happened last night but all that seems to disappear when Massi pulls up w/ Roberta . Then it just faded away and a smile appeared, just like it always does :)

Massimo told me he would tear Eliza a new asshole for not taking care of me, and I loved his loyalty to me - What a badass . I came back home, cleaned my shoes that have become filthy from the walk and then i fell asleep immediately

I woke up to a DM from the girl and also Marco . They both apologized so that validated that I wasn’t crazy and imagining things . For him I didn’t mind, he was very sweet . But for the girl I laid into her, I even told her to fuck herself and her opera career . felt good too . I loved that I got to say, “fuck your opera career” to someone, can’t do that in America . Traveling is nice because you get to use interesting careers as insults . Massimo laughed his ass off when I showed him the text message . The hardest he has laughed this entire trip .

The sun is setting and as I’m writing I am staring out into a breathtaking Puglia sunset, accompanied by a white sheet on a clothesline . I hated what happened last night, but I love it now . What a mess, what a story . Being in it sucks, but being out is hilarious, I will never forget that night .

Tomorrow I will fly to Milan, I will chase Sara all around the city and I will spend more time w/ Massi, chad, and David .

I cannot wait . Puglia loves me . Milan loves me .

Italy is my best friend, and I hope it never lets me down again Xx